Cute When You're Angry
by Regina Phalangey
Summary: Inuyasha/Yu Yu Hakusho. Youko Kurama has made a bet with Kuronue: Who can find the most Beautiful girl at the Castle? What does chambermaid Kagome have to do with this?
1. Chapter 1

This is my first fic, so be cruel but kind.

**Cute When You're Angry**

Aah, wine, such a treat, such a flavor. That was one of the few good aspects of being a lord; the dining at court was unparalleled. Yes, if it weren't for the meals and the power, he probably wouldn't even bother with nobility. He was a lord like no other lord. Youko Kurama was notorious. He was a thief, the finest thief Makai had ever seen. His many triumphant burglaries had garnered him masses of wealth and when one has wealth, one has power, and when one has power, one becomes a lord. It was expected of Kurama to make an appearance at these gatherings. There were regular meetings at the castles of lords to brag of winnings and to gossip of losses. Kurama's obligation was here, but his home was in shadow. He dwelled beneath the surface, just beyond your vision. He waited until all eyes were closed, for one cannot thieve until night comes. Once the sun had fallen and pulled the veil of darkness over Makai, he struck. He may now be a lord, but he was first a thief, and a thief he would remain along with his band of loyal followers. He was a regular Robin Hood, if Robin Hood stole from the rich to make himself richer. He was a man of instant gratification, but soon that would all change. And now back to the wine.

Kagome wasn't sure whether to be upset or amused. How many dresses could one princess really try on? Silks and furs, cashmere and taffeta, embroideries of every shape and color went flying past Kagome's head. Her Princess Kikyo was made up of many qualities, few of which were good. She was of a dangerous character, powerful yet greedy. Her power gave her greed and her greed made her crave more power. She had everything but she always wanted more. She was always able to find amusement at the expense of others, and she had a horrid, hicuppy laugh that screeched like a broken music box. On top of that, she had the nasty habit of grasping her hands together while she cackled, making her look not unlike a witch at her cauldron. All of this Kagome saw, all of this Kagome enjoyed about as much as paper cuts on one's writing hand. The only reason that Kagome saw all this was because she was Kikyo's personal chamber maid, a servant. As far as Kikyo was concerned, she had no eyes, so long as the important people saw what they were supposed to see. Nobles came for miles around, curious of the rumors of her beauty and purity. Beauty she may have had, with her slender figure, her waist length ebony locks, and her chestnut eyes, but Kagome had it on good authority that the ship of Kikyo's purity had long since set sail. It went by the name of Peter, a kitchen boy on a merchant ship that had docked in their kingdom years ago. In fact, many a young man had sampled Kikyo's 'purity.' If the princess loved anything it was pleasure. Kagome had been her chambermaid for seven of her nineteen years and she knew her twenty-two year old princess well. Kagome was not like most girls her age. Many of the village girls worked every day just like herself, but they had stars in their eyes and cobwebs in their heads. Working in a castle so congested with nobility had them all convinced that a rich lord would fall passionately in love in love with them and lift them out of their dreary lives. Kagome was much more practical, she always had been. She saw everything exactly as it was and told it the same way. She had no time for day dreaming. She had left her girlish hopes and insecurities at her mother's grave. This loss gave her a quiet strength that carried her through each task but allowed no space for unreachable wishes. Being alone can do that to a person. Kagome wasn't the type to sulk, though. Her mother wanted her happy more than anything in the world and just because she was gone didn't mean that Kagome was going to deny her that. She had a positive, yet ironic outlook that gave her a quick mind and a biting wit. Her active imagination always kept her amused. Finally Kikyo was dressed. Lords from all over the Makai would be arriving shortly. Kikyo was hoping to score a rich and absent husband. Kagome didn't care if Buddha was coming; it didn't change the fact that she had to bake in the kitchen for the rest of the day to feed the many guests. She fixed Kikyo's hair and then made to leave for the kitchen.

"Oh, Kagome," Kikyo called, "throw something sinful in the oven for me." Kagome smiled a little and said, "Oh I'm sure I can think of something I'd like to throw in the oven." She skipped down the stairs giggling.

Youko Kurama was bored. He had been sitting there, looking regal and intimidating for the past thirty minutes. Where was this princess of fabled beauty? And where had Kuronue gone to? He had nothing to look at and no one to help him make fun of his fellow lords behind their backs. If he had been any less regal he might have frowned stubbornly and given a petulant sigh. But he was above that, not far above it, but far enough. Just as he was about to lose his cool and start throwing appetizers at passersby, he saw Kuronue coming toward him. Kuronue and Kurama had been friends for their entire lives, and no matter how old you are, that's a long time.

"Hey, Kurama! You will never guess who I saw doing it in the dungeons!" It was times like these that made Kurama positive that he needed new friends.

"I don't care who you saw! Where the hell have you been? I almost lost my cool waiting for you."

"Appetizer darts?"

"Yeah."

"Right on."

Still, having someone who knew you to the point of almost being able to read your mind had its perks; for instance, charades tournaments. Yes, it was all great fun. Just as they were about to begin a rousing game of appetizer darts, trumpets were heard. Lights flashed. Doves flew. A choir sang the theme from Mary Tyler Moore. Suddenly a booming voice that sounded suspiciously like James Earl Jones began to speak.

"And now, the moment you've all been waiting for. Here she is, the one, the only, Princess Kikyo!"

She entered from a wall of dry ice (complements of Santa's elves) and the entire room exploded with applause.

"Wow, she is hot," said Kuronue.

"Yeah and she knows it," snorted Kurama as he watched Kikyo bat her eyelashes and blow kisses to imaginary fans.

"No you don't understand," Kuronue said excitiedly, "she's the girl I saw in the dungeons gettin' it on with the stable boy!"

"What?! As pure as the driven snow, my ass!" this gave them both a bit of a chuckle. The chuckles became full out laughs when Kikyo flipped her hair and exposed a hickie.

"Well, looks like we've found ourselves a target for appetizer darts." Kuronue took aim.

"Come on, Kuronue, cut it out. We've got an image to maintain: mine."

Kuronue rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, but remember our age old competition: whoever scores the hottest chick here wins… one dollar."

Kurama had a wistful look on his face. "This was really more exciting when we were poor."

"Yeah (awkward silence) anyway, you'd better watch out, Kurama cause I'm gonna own you in this one!"

"Yeah, okay, well I'm just gonna give you a head start." Kurama had that 'as if' look on his face as he walked away. He thought he'd do a little exploring, maybe borrow some treasures from friends-who won't know they're gone yet. So there he was, walking and steaing. That's where 'stalking' comes from. He moved deeper into the castle, curious as to what he would find. Suddenly a door burst open and he was bombarded with pots and pans.

"Watch where you're going, Idiot!"

Kurama pushed aside the frying pans and the casserole dishes to punish his offender. No one spoke to him that way and got away with their lives. And then he saw her face.

_Wow. She's cute when she's angry._


	2. Chapter 2

Here we go chapter 2,

Please don't hate this piece of poo

Well, would you look at that; a couplet. A little piece of a story, a little poetry, I have got literary culture coming out of the woodwork! Edit this as harshly as you can. Believe me; I can take whatever you give.

P.S. _this means the character is thinking so these lines will be more candid. Take a minute to think out all the repercussions of saying every thought aloud. Thinking aloud is a very bad, and very common habit of mine so I know well how bad it can be. _

Chapter 2: He won the bet but he lost the war.

Kagome hadn't planned on being harassed that day but as life has a tendency of showing: what one plans for is often not what one gets. She thought she was safe delivering pots and pans to storage. What were the odds of anyone being in the leaky old hallway? Never question the odds. The first step she took out of the kitchens sent her straight into something solid and then she was lost in the bang and clang of cooking ware. Through the mess of copper she was able to make out a clawed hand. _Must be one of the serving boys_.

"Watch where you're going, Idiot!" Yelling always made her fell better.

He didn't seem to like that because he began digging voraciously to meet her. _He can complain all he wants, I'm still pissed._ The last few pots tumbled aside and revealed… _Oh no, a noble. Now what?_

Kagome knew she had her work cut out for her whenever guests were at the castle. She had to cook for them, clean for them, provide them with any comfort or leisure, but she rarely ever had to physically come in contact with any of them, unless a lady needed help with dressing. This was a perfect system for her. She could do her job without having to worry about the royals, or the royal pains in the ass as she called them. What she treasured most of all about her position was that she remained out of sight. Kagome was not a shy girl by any means. When it came to confrontation she was no shrinking violet. What bothered her about meeting guests in the castle were the stares. Whenever she had come face to face with a stranger it was as if they had lost the ability to speak. They would look at her with a curious, awed expression rather like someone who was seeing snow for the first time and could not fathom how it came to be. Kagome was sure that she was no beauty. She had looked in a mirror maybe twice in the past three years, and the reflection staring back at her in lakes and streams did not have time to chat before she went back to work. All she knew about her physical being was that she took after her father, and a whole lot of good that did her. For all of her bravery, she was, as many girls are, very self conscious. Being looked at was at the bottom of her wish list. Her job had always made sure that she needn't worry about that, but today it all went to Hell. This stranger who had very nearly maimed her had that same, almost blank look on his face, not unlike a cow out to graze. Was that drool she saw? She was just beginning to get annoyed when she looked in his eyes. While the rest of him appeared to be out to lunch, his eyes were focused and pensive. They were staring right at her. They were almond shapes of burning gold. They were hard, cold, and active; she could tell that they hid a mind that was always at work. This demon was calculating, this demon was intelligent, this demon was dangerous. She felt as though she had lost all ability to function as a human being. It was like he was witnessing her very essence. She felt very much like a painting, the kind that people stare at intensely because they are trying to discover the artist's meaning. Kagome was very uncomfortable.

He had found her. He wasn't even trying and he had found her. He had to admit that being bowled over by pots and pans did not please him but all of his anger died away when he saw her face. Youko Kurama was quite used to women making contact with him, just not such violent contact. He was rapidly finding that he did not mind this contact with her one bit. In fact, it had been a while since he had had "contact" with any woman. Kurama could feel the beginnings of a smirk tug at his mouth. The raven silk piled on top of her head was beginning to come undone, delicate curls tumbling down her back and over her shoulder. Her eyes, two almond shaped sapphires, were widened in shock but held the look of apprehension. He was a surprise for her as well. The innocent sweetness in her lovely face was obscured only by the stubborn set to her jaw. She was ready for anything. Despite the beauty in her features, there was something else there that Kurama was drawn to. There was a mysterious charm to this girl that made him wonder what secrets she held. _$1.00, here I come._ He didn't want to look away but in the interest of furthering his plan he pushed the pots off of him and gracefully rose from the floor. He was about to offer the lady his hand when she sat upon her own and began to pile up the pots and pans.

"You should really watch where you're going. I may not be a princess but I'm not a carpet either!"

He was shocked. Youko Kurama was actually shocked. Not only had she held his normally bone melting stare, but now she was scolding him! Normally a regular person would have met an untimely death for treating him that way, but there it was a gain; that inexplicable charm that gave him a felling of wonder, of whimsy. This girl had yet to go wrong. What a find indeed.

"Perhaps you should have watched where you were going, for even a carpet has the grace to stay steady."

"Not when an inattentively pompous noble pushes it out of the way," she answered sweetly.

"I think it is best that you come with me," Kurama said darkly. His smirk embodied all things sin and trickery.

Kagome was terrified. Her mouth had always been her downfall. Now this demon was angry with her, and as a noble he had the right to do with her what he wished. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her firmly down the hall. She could feel her heart rate speed up when suddenly she heard a yell.

"Well, Kurama it is time you met your match! I believe I have the winning card to this game right here."

A bat demon, just as handsome but not quite as poised or threatening as the silver fox stepped into view. He brought with him a lovely cat demoness with aunurn hair and hazel eyes. She looked smug and the bat Demon had a triumphant grin on his face. The most unusual thing though, was when Kagome's captor began to chuckle condescendingly.

"Oh, Kuronue you just never learn do you." The pure cutthroat confidence in his voice sent shivers down Kagome's spine.

"Allow me to introduce…" The fox pulled her forward and nodded his head at her to finish his sentence.

"Kagome," she said cautiously.

She thought she would die from the suspense while the one called Kuronue appraised her. Then he hung his head low and gave the cat demon a little push behind him.

"Sorry, love," he called after her. "Dammit, Kurama! Every time!" He pulled what appeared to be a one dollar bill out of his pocket and handed it to Kurama. Kagome was baffled.

_What the Hell is going on?_

Until next time, compadres!


	3. Chapter 3

I know it's been a while since I last updated, but life suddenly decided to speed up. I had about a billion papers all due last week and my professors are not capable of compassion. Anyway, chapter three is finally here. I don't own anything, mostly because I have no money.

**Playing hard to get. **

"_You should play hard to get." "She already lives in London!" "Then you go to Tokyo."_

_-Joey and Ross from Friends_

Being an object of adoration was not as easy as it looked. The regime of a princess could be so tiresome. But Princess Kikyo would press on for her subjects. After all, what would they do without someone to worship? Still, at times people could be so ignorant of her wondrous glory.

The day had started off well enough. She had arisen with a purpose: Youko Kurama. Rumors of his wealth and power ha spread to all corners. He was the subject of many a conversation, but his life remained cloaked in mystery. Where had he come from? Where did he get this fabulous wealth? If that was not allure enough Kikyo had also heard through the grapevine that his looks and "Manly Skills" were unparalleled. All the more reason for the two peas in a pod to get together. She prepared with even more care and attention than usual that morning. Every piece of clothing flattered a different part and every hair was wrestled into place. Her trusty servant, Kagome was there to cater to her every need.

Oh, Kagome. She had been Kikyo's servant for many, many moons. The two girls had practically grown up together. She had always been obedient and efficient but lately Kikyo began noticing something that Kagome had that she was extremely displeased with: attention.

Through the years as they had matured, Kikyo had paid unusually close attention to Kagome. Their lives ran so closely together that one could compare them to sisters. It is a common trait in the female race to be ambitious. Ambition often causes females to create rivalries against others around them. Kikyo was no different. Her "sibling" rivalry with Kagome had always been one sided and ephemeral but lately, it had been evolving. Suddenly Kikyo was not the only one paying attention to Kagome. It seemd as though everyone else was as well. Normally, when Kagome escorted Kikyo from place to place all heads would turn in the princess's direction. Then, quite inexplicably, something changed. The heads still turned, but the eyes did not follow Kikyo; they followed Kagome.

This inspired strange feelings in Kikyo. She had never lived in a world where she was not the center of the universe. She was unaccustomed to sharing and she liked it that way. Kikyo had tried everything to get Kagome out of the spotlight. She had made her wear dull brown dresses while Kikyo herself wore her finest gowns. She had planned it so that she would conveniently drop things in front of the male population and have to bend over in front of them. This one had backfired because Kagome, being the good servant she was, bent over for her. It had the desired effect on the men but it completely defeated the purpose. She had even gone so far as to try to make Kagome wear a bag on her head, which ultimately didn't work because it is really hard to find an excuse for why someone should wear a bag over their head. Yes, in spite of all this clever and seemingly fool proof chicanery, Kagome still remained a sight that people wanted to see.

Kikyo couldn't understand it. Sure, Kagome was pretty in an obvious way, but who wants that? Princess Kikyo was sick and tired of everyone fawning over Kagome. She was a meaningless peasant! Kikyo wanted total recognition and no one got in the way of what she wanted. That was why she was determined to have Youko Kurama. Once she bagged the most desired bachelor of Makai, people would know once and for all that her beauty was the stuff of legends. With this in mind she made her way into the dining hall to the sounds of "ooh's" and "aah's."

Everyone clapped and got starry eyed, as per usual. She kept her eyes peeled for the object of her lust. _Where is he? Oh, there he is. He is so delicious he's got to be fattening. _She traipsed toward him, but he seemed to be paying more attention to his friend than her. Then he looked up. _Here it comes, the jaw is about to drop… wait a minute._ He casually got up and left the dining hall as if her presence hadn't even made an impact. _Oh I see, playing hard to get by leaving the room. Well, I know an invitation when I see one._ Princess Kikyo gracefully excused herself and went after him. _Now where could he be?_

"I don't know how you do it, Kurama. I just don't know how you do it!"

"Sorry, Kuronue. Some of us are just born with it."

Kagome watched the two handsome demons bicker about some unknown subject. In all her years she had never been in this particular predicament. _Why is it that trouble always seems to find me? Mom had a theory about this once. She said I was a magnet for it. Well, I guess you just have to play the hand you're dealt. Hmm, maybe I should learn to play cards. I think I know a guy that has cards, or maybe that was darts. Oh well, either way it's a hobby._

"So you're the girl that Youko has his eye on."

Kagome shook herself back into coherence and looked at the bat demon.

"Excuse me?"

He grinned and started snapping his fingers.

"Ya know. He's buying what you're selling."

Kurama's eyes narrowed dangerously "Kuronue," he warned.

"He is warm for your form."

"Kuronue…"

"He is weak for your physique."

"Alright, alright," Kagome yelled to the surprise of both demons. "What is this, amateur hour? You sound like a pimp."

Kuronue was stunned into silence. _This one's spicy._

"You're spicy," he said. "My name is Kuronue. Trusted partner to Youko Kurama and the real brains in this whole operation."

Their little verbal spar was interrupted by a muffled sound. It began as a light chuckle but then turned into a rich and enticing laugh from Youko. Kuronue looked harassed.

"What's so funny?"

"I can't decide between you saying you were the brains or Kagome's little comment. You, girl, are quick as a whip."

She just smiled slyly. "Every whip is quick if it's the one that strikes you."

For a while there, there was nothing but… eye contact. And then the shit hit the fan.

"Yoo hoo! Kurama! It's Princess Kikyo!"

Kagome looked about ready to cut her ears off. As a matter of fact everyone within a 20 yard radius shared that same look.

"Oh crap, it's here." Kagome spun on her heel and started to book it on outta there.

"Kagome," Kurama called softly, but his voice resonated with silky confidence, "When will I see you again."

He would remember her next two words for the rest of his life.

"Uh, NEVER!" She slipped down the hall and out of sight.

Youko Kurama was baffled, he was speechless. Never before had another creature spoken to him in such a way. She stood there proud and brave and told them exactly what she thought of them. She told them how ridiculous they seemed and when they were bothering her. It was clear that she viewed them as total idiots. He kinda liked it. Before he could emerse himself in that thought, however, he was met with a very serious, very large pain in the ass.

"Why, Kurama, there you are. I thought I'd never find you."

Apparently Kikyo chose not to listen when Kurama said, "that's sort of the point." It was all he could do not to silence her for good. Just when he thought he was ready to strangle her with her own hair a miracle occurred.

"Princess, if you wouldn't mind, I'd love a tour of the gardens." Kuronue had his most enticing, 'come hither' smile on and Kikyo ate it up.

"Of course, Lord Kuronue. Just let me change into something a little more… outdoorsy." She winked seductively at him.

"Grrrr," He answered back with a flex of his claws. She frolicked down the hall to her bedchambers.

One more turn and she was home free. Kagome sped around the corner and into the kitchen. _What a day. Why did everything decide to get weird? Maybe Yusuke spiked the grog again. _She walked toward the center of the bright and bustling kitchen, following the sound of a stern but strong voice.

"Take this chicken to table three! I don't care if you cut the dickens out of your arm, shake it off! Instead of pointing that finger at me, Lamar, you could put it to use and carry the damn chicken to table three!"

There's nothing like hearing the dulcet tones of one's best friend. Kagome walked toward Sango with a smile tugging at her lips. Sango was head chef of the castle. Her reputation as a hard ass was only half true. Still, being friends with an emblem of fear had its perks.

"Kagome! I was wondering where you got off to." Sango dried her hands on a dish towel and began kneading dough for bread. Kagome hoped on to a kitchen stool and began shelling peas for the next day's soup.

"Yeah, I got side tracked. You will not believe what happened to me…"

Before she could finish a metallic thumping could be heard from the depths of the other side of the kitchen. The noise got louder as the source got closer. Finally a knight with slick black hair came into view holding his helmet by his side.

"Yusuke, what have I told you about coming straight from riding into my kitchen? You always track in mud and you smell like horse ass!" Clearly this was not an uncommon occurrence in Sango's kitchen. Yusuke was Kagome's older brother, a good natured fellow, but a bit rough around the edges. He was one of the best knights in Kikyo's court.

"Sorry Sango but this couldn't wait, horse ass? Was that really necessary?"

"Yeah, it actually was." Yusuke glared at her but continued on.

"Did you know that we have Youko Kurama himself staying at our castle?"

"Oh I know alright," Kagome scoffed with a toss of her head. Sango and Yusuke looked at her questioningly.

"Just because, you know, I'm a maid and, ah, it's my job to ah, keep track of all of the guests' laundry. So ah, yeah that's how I know." Kagome looked in every direction but at their faces.

"Why'd you sound so annoyed?" Yusuke asked.

"It's just that the guy's got enough underwear to sink a battleship and undies aren't my favorite things to clean, okay? God, what do you want from me, blood?"

Yusuke, sensing a storm brewing, put up his hands in surrender. "Sorry. Anyway, rumor has it that he has his eye on a certain someone in this castle. Kikyo is gonna be so pissed."

Kagome almost choked on one of the peas she was shelling.

Kurama stood in the dark hallway with disgusted shock on is face. Kuronue clearly did not share this sentiment because he was positively pink with barely concealed glee.

"What in Lucifer's reach was that?" Kurama asked quietly, too quietly.

"I believe I just saved your ass. Now maybe you can get back to trying to win that bet."

"What are you talking about? I won fair and square. I got the most beautiful girl."

"No, no, no. you found the most beautiful girl. Did you kiss her?"

"No."

"Then you don't have her."

"That logic has more holes than a pretzel."

Kuronue looked confused. "What's a pretzel."

"They're those things we had in the city. Ya know, the bendy things with the salt?"

"Oh yeah, good times. Anyway, my logic has no holes. In fact it is probably the most logical logic to be presented since the invention of the pretzel. Let's face it, you did not win. She doesn't want anything to do with you. She high-tailed it out of here as fast as she could when she saw Kikyo coming."

Kurama looked thoughtful.

_Uh oh, it's never good when Kurama starts thinking._

Suddenly he had a look of enlightenment. "I know exactly what to do."

"I am waiting with bated breath."

"I must win at all costs, which means I must have Kagome at all costs, so I need to make myself irresistible to her. I'll play hard to get." Kurama smiled like the proud son of a bitch he was.

"She already doesn't want you!" Kuronue was about to make some comments about Kurama's pretzel logic.

"Maybe you haven't heard of a little something called reverse psychology."

"Whatever, man, I gotta go give Kikyo a pity make-out session. Good luck with all of that."

They parted ways; one determined, one speculative, both in for a surprise at the end of their tunnels.

Well, that's it. Tell me what you think.


End file.
